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Where are the lovers?
- reallifewithjay
- Mar 3
- 2 min read
Where.
Are.
The lovers?
Not the placeholders.
Not the “let’s just vibe.”
Not the almost-something that never becomes anything.
I’m talking about the ones
who still treat love like it’s sacred.
Because somewhere along the way
we started confusing access
with intimacy.
Bodies are available.
But vulnerability?
Rare.
All gas.
No brakes.
Touching skin
without ever touching souls.
Sex is rushed
while intimacy starves.
Sex is rushed
while intellect sits unnoticed in the corner.
Sex is rushed
while closeness flat lines…
And we call it chemistry.
No.
That’s convenience dressed up in lust.
Where are the lover boys
who understand that patience is power?
Where are the lover girls
who know softness is not weakness
but discipline?
The ones who crave conversation that lingers.
Who understand that foreplay starts in the mind.
Who believe emotional safety is sexy.
Who still think choosing someone — daily — is romantic.
Because I’m not in love right now.
But don’t get it twisted.
I am a hopeless romantic.
And that used to feel like a weakness.
Like a void I needed to fill.
Like something missing.
But healing will teach you something powerful.
Love is not a void.
It’s not desperation.
It’s not lack.
It is a space.
And I refuse
to crowd sacred space
with surface-level connections.
I don’t believe dating is pointless.
I believe settling is.
We are not jaded.
We are just healed enough
to recognize the difference
between attention and affection.
Between attraction and alignment.
Between being chosen
and being convenient.
So yes, I’ll wait.
Not from loneliness.
From alignment.
I will wait for the kind of love
that doesn’t rush my body
but studies my heart.
The kind that doesn’t perform for social media
but protects in private.
The kind that doesn’t say “let’s see where this goes”
but says “I see you — and I’m intentional.”
The lovers are still here.
We just stopped auditioning
for people
who don’t know how to love.
And when it finds me?
It won’t be chaotic.
It won’t be confusing.
It won’t be temporary.
It will be steady.
It will be safe.
It will be sacred.
And it will feel like home.
This is a accurate description of what a real lover girl embodies. That sweet, genuine, unconditional, undeniable, safe love. I can relate to this passage so much, as I continue to date with intentions in search of that pure alignment. Great read!
Lover girl, who have always refuse to settle for nothing short of steady, safe, sacred, but accepted less than anyway. Had to take off almost 7 years to pour into myself (and my kids,) realize who I AM and not, and get closer to my GOD. Now that I am "back outside", I KNOW what to accept because I realize what I deserve, and it's all that and more with no strings!!
Lover here!!! Love this openness. I had my share of heartbreaks/disappointment/lessons. It wasn't until I began to truly love me; not let anyone, not even myself play about me; that I was blessed to have real love find me. But trust it still requires growth on so many levels. Transparent and clear communication being one. But action that aligns to them is just as important.
And it is from this place, this place of self love, this place of choosing yourself, that you will attract the very love that you seek. This was amazing!!! 👏🏾👏🏾
Wow ❤️❤️❤️❤️ When I say I felt every word! Thank for this and my sister and I were just talking about love and not settling for less.